Patrick

Q & A with our Illustrious Hosts

Here’s your chance to get to know us a little better.

Tiffany

1. What would you name your boat if you had one?

Patrick: Disaster

Tiffany: Breakfast at Tiffany’s

2. What’s the closest thing to real magic?

Patrick: Theoretical physics

Tiffany: Anything that Gob Bluth does – his illusions are amazing

3. Who is the messiest person you know?

Patrick: My 6 year old

Tiffany: This rotates between the 5 men/boys I live with – it’s no bueno for my OCD

4. What will finally break the internet?

Patrick: A nuclear electromagnetic pulse

Tiffany: Ralph, of course

5. What’s the most useless talent you have?

Patrick: Being somewhat adept at the Ukelele

Tiffany: Remembering the most mundane details about conversations and interactions – burdened by my own mind – I rarely forget anything

6. What would be on the gag reel of your life?

Patrick: Any time I’ve ever attempted to play golf

Tiffany: Dancing at the Swamp Club – we were soooo cool

7. Where is the worst smelling place you’ve been?

Patrick: Next to the grease trap in the dive bar where I once cooked and tended bar.

Tiffany: The Rainforest at the zoo – nauseating

8. What celebrity would you rate as a perfect 10?

Patrick: David Lynch

Tiffany: Besides Bo Derek? I have quite a penchant for Alec Baldwin — but I do not think anyone is perfect, our perfection lies within our tapestry of imperfections

9. What’s a body part that you wouldn’t mind losing?

Patrick: A single pinky toe

Tiffany: My marsupial pouch that I acquired from housing so many babies

10. What is the dumbest way you’ve been injured?

Patrick: Practicing sneaking out of my house when I was 12 and falling off the roof.

Tiffany: Breaking my wrist racing someone at the Chagrin Roller Rink – the wall and I became intimately acquainted one Friday evening

11. Which fictional character would be the most boring to meet in real life?

Patrick: Anyone from a Tom Clancy novel.

Tiffany: Caillou – that kid is just not a good time

12. What is the best and worst purchases you’ve ever made?

Patrick: Elon Musk’s Boring company flame thrower for both answers.

Tiffany: Hmm, best would probably be our house – we love the location for the kiddos – the worst would probably be our house – it is constantly sand filled, the unofficial public restroom of LL and very much lacking in privacy – it’s very tough for a girl to sit in here with her bra off, it’s never safe to assume someone isn’t stopping by

13. If you had to change your name, what would your new name be, and why would you choose that name?

Patrick: Brick Rockwell. Because that’s a cool ass sounding name.

Tiffany: I’m not sure I have such a desire, it sounds exhausting to consider the amount of paperwork involved to get everything changed, so I will keep my stripper name

14. What are some things that sound like compliments but are actually insults?

Patrick: “You look good today”

“That’s an interesting outfit.”

“Wow, that’s actually a good point.”

Tiffany: “You look different in the morning” – said to me from my Sawyer as he noticed my sans makeup look

“Bless your heart”

15. What’s your biggest screw up in the kitchen?

Patrick: Any time I burn the bacon.

Tiffany: Recently, there was a smallish fire in my microwave due to popcorn gone awry. The smell lingered for days

16. What’s the worst commercial you’ve recently seen? Why is it so bad?

Patrick: Any Buick commercial because the song is grating and so are the actors.

Tiffany: I tend to see children’s commercials, if at all, and I hate advertising directly to children

17. What is the craziest thing one of your teachers has done?

Patrick: I was almost blown up by a University chemistry professor who was easily in his 90’s

Tiffany: One of my HS teachers used to regularly give me passes to leave early for the day with smiley faces, it was awesome at the time, but now I think about the weight of responsibility that was taking on

18. When did you screw everything up, but no one ever found out it was you?

Patrick: Answering this question would mean people would find out. So … GTFO

Tiffany: Also not into self incriminating – so PASS

19. What problem or situation did TV / movies make you think would be common, but when you grew up you found out it wasn’t?

Patrick: The Day After mini-series made me believe we’d be annihilated by nuclear war at any moment.

Tiffany: That most married couples are happy together, generally speaking

20. What quote or saying do people spout but is complete BS?

Patrick: ”Things can only get better … “

Tiffany: “Time heals all wounds”

21. What’s something your brain tries to make you do and you have to will yourself not to do it?

Patrick: Eat an entire thing of that crazy good salsa from Aldi in one sitting.

Tiffany: Eat all the things. I love to play “clean up batter” for my kids’ plates and have to work hard mentally not to do it

22. If you could know the absolute and total truth to one question, what question would you ask?

Patrick: What comes after death?

Tiffany: Samesies

23. What’s the most interesting thing you’ve read or seen this week?

Patrick: A cockatoo that could bark like a dog, hanging out with barking dogs.

Tiffany: I am currently reading City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert and enjoying it immensely — I also read that Spencer Pratt stopped following Brandon Lee on IG and this girl is intrigued

24. What ridiculous thing has someone tricked you into doing or believing?

Patrick: This dude once tricked me into giving someone my SSN over a cell phone when I met him in a strip clib and he offered me a job to ghost-write his autobiography.

Tiffany: My brother had a whole scheme going when I was little freaking me out that my Littlefoot stuffed animal was moving all by itself to the top of the stairs several nights in a row. It was frightening

25. If you were given a one-minute ad slot during the Super Bowl that you couldn’t sell, what would you fill it with?

Patrick: A single static shot of me looking directly into the camera and making love to America with my gaze.

Tiffany: Totally promote Glass Houses Podcast, duh!

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